Nik and I met in the most traditional Christian Slavic way. If you grew up in the Christian Slavic community, you know one of the most popular ways to meet someone is at a youth conference.
In 2014, my church youth, which consisted of 8 girls at the time, traveled to Battle Ground, Washington to attend the Reality Conference hosted by Word of Grace Bible Church. On the first night, the host of the conference had people stand up when their state was called. When he called Colorado, our 8 girls stood up and to our surprise, several others stood up with us. We didn’t know there was a whole group of people that came from Colorado to the conference. We were from Colorado Springs and were the only Russian Baptist church in the area. 60 miles away in Denver, there were several Russian churches and that’s where the second group of Coloradans was from. Later that night, we went to someone’s house for some fellowship and that’s where we spoke with Nik for the first time. It’s funny what your memory brings up, but I remember he had on a turquoise shirt.
He came up to our group of girls and I didn’t know him. This was a little surprising because I knew a good amount of people from his church in Denver. It’s also funny that we grew up about 60 miles apart, intermingled on several occasions for church events, and only met for the first time in Washington state, where I was visiting and he just moved to. I don’t remember everything, but I remember we talked a little about the conference. The conversation was pretty much a lot of get-to-know-you questions and they weren’t addressed to just me. He was talking to the whole group of us. For the rest of the conference, we spoke maybe a couple more times and eventually added each other on social media.
Reality Conference 2014
A few months later, Nik added me on Snapchat and eventually I gave him my phone number. We texted quite a bit and talked on social media all the time. Then, Nik dropped the F-bomb on me. That’s right. He friend-zoned me.
Later that day, I wrote in my journal:
Lately, I have been talking to a guy from Washington named Nik Kotov. He is an incredible person! He opens up to me and makes it easy to open up to him. Mom thinks something can happen between us, but even if it doesn’t, I enjoy having him as a friend. -Kseniya Belozerov, June 19, 2014.
I wasn’t offended and he didn’t hurt my feelings because honestly, I was just talking to him as a friend also. We spoke a lot online and eventually, even started FaceTiming. We talked about everything and it was easy because we were friends and didn’t feel that pressure of liking each other or growing our friendship into something more. We could talk about what we were feeling, the weather, our churches, and our ministries. We even talked about significant others in our lives. Eventually, we started making jokes about marriage. We would send each other funny marriage related memes or jokes and just brush it off as if it’s nothing.
In 2015, things started to change a little for us. It started off as our usual jokes, but this time his marriage jokes were geared towards me:
In 2015, Nik called me and he told me that he had some strong feelings for me. This time he sounded different and I knew he wasn’t joking. I was shocked. He friend-zoned me first and now he wants out of that friend zone?! I didn’t know what to say to him because honestly, I didn’t have feelings for him. I saw him as a friend and the thing that I was scared of most, hurting him, was happening. I wrote the following in my journal the next day:
Nik threw a bomb at me yesterday. I know that he likes me, but he lives so far away. I hate long-distance and he’s the definition of long-distance. It’s easy for us to talk about stuff until he tells me that he likes me. Yesterday, he did just that. When I was planning on moving out of Colorado, Washington state was one of the options. But God closed that door for me and I was ok with that. – Kseniya Belozerov, October 29, 2015.
At this point, I moved from Colorado to North Carolina. I was terrified of dating someone on the opposite side of the country. I also had just ended things with someone and I wasn’t in a rush to start something else with anyone, not necessarily just Nik. I was honest with him and I told him that I wasn’t ready. Things got a little weird for us after that. We didn’t talk as often or even at all.
The new 2016 year started. If you told me at the beginning of that year, that I would end it engaged to Nik Kotov, I would have laughed in your face. In January, I started to see a guy who lived out of state but was still nearby. Nik also started dating someone from his state and we didn’t speak. In March of 2016, Nik broke the silence and reached out to me with a simple “Hey, how are things with you?” We started chatting up again, giving each other life updates. At that point, his relationship had ended but mine was still going and we were going pretty strong. I limited my conversations with Nik because I didn’t want to hurt him again and I didn’t want to hurt the person I was in a relationship with. We didn’t talk much, besides a Happy Birthday message that I sent him in April.
Things took a turn at the end of May. It was almost like Nik knew that my relationship had taken a turn for the worse and things were about to end. He randomly sent me a message asking how things were and when I told him things were rough, he sent me the following meme:
I was so mad because what Nik didn’t know is that my ex had just broken up with me. I was so heartbroken- the last thing I wanted was Nik coming in here and making jokes about it. You better believe I told him that too! He thought it was funny, but I most definitely did not…at that point at least. I stopped talking to him because I was just so mad. Several weeks later, Nik gave me a call and I answered him. He said, “I know you just got out of something, but just hear me out. I really want us to just take some time- let’s say 2 weeks and just pray about it. If you tell me no after those 2 weeks, I’ll leave it.” I was still pretty sad about my previous relationship ending, but I wanted Nik to get off my back, so I said ok. We started praying. I don’t know what Nik was praying for, but I was praying for peace. I wanted God to give me peace about my previous relationship and if Nik was really the one for me, I wanted God to give me peace about an inevitable move, a long-distance relationship, and everything else I was afraid of.
I remember the day that God answered my prayer like it was yesterday. It was nothing that Nik did, it was all God’s doing and that’s how I knew Nik was the one for me. It was a Friday, the following Tuesday I was supposed to give Nik my answer. I was praying for that peace and I felt it. It felt like God lifted a weight off of my chest. Prayers don’t always get answered in such an obvious way, but this was obvious. It was so obvious. I got up from my prayer and I just sat there for a minute thinking about what just happened. God really answered my prayer IN THE MIDDLE of my praying for it. It’s amazing how He works, isn’t it? I went out of my room and told my mom that I’m going to say yes to Nik’s offer to start a relationship. Now my mom, who had watched me mope around for my ex for the last several weeks, was surprised. Then she just said, “I knew you two would end up together.” Moms always know ya’ll.
That Tuesday came and Nik called me to get his answer. He sounded nervous and honestly, I was too. I did not think God was going to make this happen. Honestly, I hoped He wouldn’t because it wasn’t part of MY plan. But He did and I told Nik about my answered prayer. That’s how we began our relationship- officially.
The following month, Nik came to visit me in North Carolina. I was so nervous to see him! I hadn’t seen Nik since 2014 and even though we talked all the time, this was the first time we were seeing each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. I met him at the airport and here is our first blurry selfie. Blurry because I was literally shaking when I was taking the picture.
Once we got into the car, the conversation just flowed. Our years of friendship made our conversation easy and it wasn’t awkward at all. I felt like I was dating my best friend. Our first date was at my cousin’s wedding, so he actually met the entire family on the first date. Talk about pressure haha.
We FaceTimed every day and we made it a priority to read the Word together. God had such a leading hand in our relationship and we wanted to keep it that way. Nik told me later on that when he got home from that first trip, he already started looking at rings. Things moved fast for us from a stranger’s perspective, but the reality was that we were talking for the last several years, and it didn’t seem fast to us at all.
In September 2016 I went to visit him and I met his family for the first time. He showed me all around Portland, OR, and Washington. It was beautiful and I fell in love with the state.
In October 2016 Nik came to visit me for my birthday and we got engaged! We went to a park that he found online and we were testing out the new polaroid camera that he gave me for my birthday. We reached a tunnel that looked pretty neat and he told me to take a picture of it. When I took the picture, I turned around to see Nik standing on one knee asking me to be his wife. I said YES!
He was about to propose! 
After that, we did a lot of wedding planning and we did a lot of traveling back and forth. Long-distance is so hard and even more so when there’s an entire country in the way and a 3 hour time difference. He would be coming home from work and I would be getting ready to bed. Nevertheless, we took the time and effort to FaceTime every single day. I think in the whole time, we missed maybe 2 FaceTime dates.
On May 14, 2017, we got married and it was the best day of my life. It was the day that all my prayers were answered and I married my best friend. Every day since then, God has blessed us. Even if we didn’t always feel it, looking back we see His hand was guiding us. We went through a lot, especially in our first year, we learned a lot of lessons and we built up a marriage that we are both proud of.
It’s so rewarding to look back at all of the messages and screenshots that we have. Somehow a boy that grew up 60 miles from me became my husband. As we were planning our wedding, we found out that our paths have crossed on so many occasions, but God waited to formally introduce us until we were both out of state. My favorite part of our love story is that God had a different plan than what we ever had for ourselves. In our plan, we were never supposed to happen because the distance was too far, the timing was never right and we thought we were better off as friends. In God’s plan, the distance melted away, the timing was perfected and our friendship became the foundation for a much greater commitment. In our plan, we had no future and in God’s plan, we got married and have a beautiful family. That’s how God works. So, if you’re looking for someone to marry, stop looking. God places people into your life when you least expect it and when HE believes you’re ready, not when you believe you’re ready. And who knows, maybe the person you’re meant to marry is someone you’ve already met and disregarded. If our love story teaches you anything, I hope it teaches you to trust God, really trust Him in your life. He will lead you to where you need to go. He will introduce you to people that you need to know. All you have to do is say “Yes, Lord.”
